Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Fighting the Lies

Have you ever heard or repeated a phrase so often, you just assume that you believe it?  Or maybe you repeat it because you so desperately want it to be true but aren’t really sure that it is?  This past fall/winter I had one of those moments.  Something that I and others in the church have thrown around so nonchalantly, hit me like a ton of bricks.  “God is good.”  I was working through a Bible study and this particular day it was talking about God’s goodness.  And then it hit me.  I have zero doubts that God is good, I see it in the lives of those around me all the time.  I do doubt though, that God is good to me.  Honestly, it’s something I’ve been struggling through with God since He revealed to me that I believed that lie. 

Why do I doubt His goodness towards me?  I can sit here and name good things that God has done for me, but in this recent season it’s a lot harder for me to pinpoint.  And if we’re being real, I think it’s a mixture of unmet expectations in my own life and seeing good things happen to those around me.  I hate to admit it, but every time a friend gets married or has a baby or has an exciting new job opportunity, etc. while I rejoice with them and I am genuinely so happy for them, there’s a part of me that asks God, “When is it going to happen for me?” 

It’s so easy for us to compare our lives to other people’s, especially with social media these days.  Here’s the thing about God though, I know He’s good, because He doesn’t leave me to believe the lies.  I’m finishing up “The Quest” by Beth Moore, and on one of the last days, she had us look at John 21.  A little back story, after Jesus was resurrected, He met His disciples on the shore after they had spent the night fishing to no avail, Jesus tells them to put their net on the right side of the boat and they end up catching a ton.  Jesus then has breakfast waiting for them when they get to shore and He asks Peter three times if Peter loves Him and when Peter says yes, Jesus tells him to tend to His sheep.  That’s normally where my learning of the story stops, but if you keep going verses 19-22 say, “…And when He had spoken this, He said to him (Peter), ‘Follow Me!’  Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them… So Peter seeing him said to Jesus, ‘Lord, and what about this man?’  Jesus said to him, ‘If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you?  You follow Me!’”  And isn’t that just like us, God gives us a command and we turn around and ask, “But what about that guy?”  I love Jesus’ response though; I feel like He’s basically saying, “Who cares?  Just do what I tell you!”
 
So after reading this, Beth had us add our own “what about” and “why” questions.  And let me tell you, I could have gone on for awhile, but as I was writing my second one, I heard God speak to me.  Now I’m not someone who hears God speak to me very often; I can probably count on one hand the number of times it’s happened, but speak to me He did.  I was in the middle of writing my second “Why?” to God and He said, “Just because I’m good to someone else, doesn’t mean that I’m not good to you.”  Whoa.  Ok, God, I get it.  I stopped writing all the other questions I had, because that was all the answer I needed. 

All that being said, how do we combat believing that God is good to others but not good to us?  Cue the part where God gives me a song that speaks straight to my soul.  This particular time it was Rend Collective’s “Counting Every Blessing”.  If you haven’t heard their new album, I highly suggest you give it a listen.  Anyway, the chorus goes, “I am counting every blessing, counting every blessing.  Letting go and trusting when I cannot see.  I am counting every blessing, counting every blessing.  Surely every season You are good to me.”  I don’t deserve anything from God, yet He bestows grace and mercy on me every single day.  Even if He had done nothing other than send His Son, Jesus, to die for our sins and be raised to new life; that would have been enough.  I can’t promise you that God will give you everything that you want, but I can promise you that He will give you everything that you need (hint: He’s all you need) and that His ways are better than our own (Isaiah 55:8-9).  The Lord has been so sweet to me that in this season of questioning, He continues to reveal Himself to me and draw me to Himself.  He’s told me “no” a lot in this past year, but He’s also pursued my heart in ways that I’ve never experienced before and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

I’ll leave you with a mantra of sorts from Lysa TerKeurst:  “God is good.  God is good to me.  God is good at being God.”